Tony Perez. I don’t care if he is 70 years old—I’ll take him! Best clutch hitter in Reds history and I’m sure he would satisfy our need for a right handed hitting 1st baseman (sorry Joey—you’re headed to left and that solves that problem).
Chris Stynes. Why not? Great all-around player and he can play every position, including starting pitcher, closer, and long-man. I think he could also manage.
Andre Dawson. Now that he has been pulled out of the ivy at Wrigley, I think he’s got some good years left in him, at least as a pinch hitter.
Leo Cardenas. Hey, I played softball against this guy and he can still glove it. That frees up Cozart as trade bait. I’d trade him to whoever has the rights to Joe Torre. I’m sure Joe can still catch and he once hit into four double plays in one game. No strikeouts here—the man makes contact!
Dennis Rodman. Okay—I know he was a basketball player but this team could use some characters and he qualifies.
Jim Maloney. He’s rested. Just give us 6 good innings or the occasional no-hitter.
Warren Beatty. Hey, he starred in the movie “Reds”, so why not the real thing?
Chuck Norris. Anybody this tough HAS to be an asset to any sports team.
Kevin Costner. I know he’s an actor but he’s played in several movies about baseball. He’s been a catcher and a pitcher and you can NEVER have too many experienced catchers or pitchers.
Ashley Judd. She’d put me in the stadium! ‘Nuff said.